The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen Read online

  CHAPTER III

  _An encounter between the Baron's nose and a door-post, with itswonderful effects--Fifty brace of ducks and other fowl destroyed by oneshot--Flogs a fox out of his skin--Leads an old sow home in a new way,and vanquishes a wild boar._

  It was some time before I could obtain a commission in the army, andfor several months I was perfectly at liberty to sport away my time andmoney in the most gentleman-like manner. You may easily imagine that Ispent much of both out of town with such gallant fellows as knew how tomake the most of an open forest country. The very recollection ofthose amusements gives me fresh spirits, and creates a warm wish fora repetition of them. One morning I saw, through the windows of mybed-room, that a large pond not far off was covered with wild ducks. Inan instant I took my gun from the corner, ran down-stairs and out ofthe house in such a hurry, that I imprudently struck my face againstthe door-post. Fire flew out of my eyes, but it did not prevent myintention; I soon came within shot, when, levelling my piece, I observedto my sorrow, that even the flint had sprung from the cock by theviolence of the shock I had just received. There was no time to be lost.I presently remembered the effect it had on my eyes, therefore openedthe pan, levelled my piece against the wild fowls, and my fist againstone of my eyes. [The Baron's eyes have retained fire ever since, andappear particularly illuminated when he relates this anecdote.] A heartyblow drew sparks again; the shot went off, and I killed fifty brace ofducks, twenty widgeons, and three couple of teals. Presence of mind isthe soul of manly exercises. If soldiers and sailors owe to it many oftheir lucky escapes, hunters and sportsmen are not less beholden to itfor many of their successes. In a noble forest in Russia I met a fineblack fox, whose valuable skin it would have been a pity to tear by ballor shot. Reynard stood close to a tree. In a twinkling I took out myball, and placed a good spike-nail in its room, fired, and hit him socleverly that I nailed his brush fast to the tree. I now went up to him,took out my hanger, gave him a cross-cut over the face, laid hold of mywhip, and fairly flogged him out of his fine skin.

  Chance and good luck often correct our mistakes; of this I had asingular instance soon after, when, in the depth of a forest, I saw awild pig and sow running close behind each other. My ball had missedthem, yet the foremost pig only ran away, and the sow stood motionless,as fixed to the ground. On examining into the matter, I found the latterone to be an old sow, blind with age, which had taken hold of her pig'stail, in order to be led along by filial duty. My ball, having passedbetween the two, had cut his leading-string, which the old sow continuedto hold in her mouth; and as her former guide did not draw her onany longer, she had stopped of course; I therefore laid hold of theremaining end of the pig's tail, and led the old beast home without anyfurther trouble on my part, and without any reluctance or apprehensionon the part of the helpless old animal.

  Terrible as these wild sows are, yet more fierce and dangerous arethe boars, one of which I had once the misfortune to meet in a forest,unprepared for attack or defence. I retired behind an oak-tree just whenthe furious animal levelled a side-blow at me, with such force, that histusks pierced through the tree, by which means he could neither repeatthe blow nor retire. Ho, ho! thought I, I shall soon have you now! andimmediately I laid hold of a stone, wherewith I hammered and bent histusks in such a manner, that he could not retreat by any means, and mustwait my return from the next village, whither I went for ropes and acart, to secure him properly, and to carry him off safe and alive, inwhich I perfectly succeeded.