The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen Read online

  CHAPTER V

  _The effects of great activity and presence of mind--A favourite hounddescribed, which pups while pursuing a hare; the hare also litters whilepursued by the hound--Presented with a famous horse by Count Przobossky,with which he performs many extraordinary feats._

  All these narrow and lucky escapes, gentlemen, were chances turnedto advantage by presence of mind and vigorous exertions, which, takentogether, as everybody knows, make the fortunate sportsman, sailor,and soldier; but he would be a very blamable and imprudent sportsman,admiral, or general, who would always depend upon chance and his stars,without troubling himself about those arts which are their particularpursuits, and without providing the very best implements, which insuresuccess. I was not blamable either way; for I have always been asremarkable for the excellency of my horses, dogs, guns, and swords, asfor the proper manner of using and managing them, so that upon the wholeI may hope to be remembered in the forest, upon the turf, and in thefield. I shall not enter here into any detail of my stables, kennel, orarmoury; but a favourite bitch of mine I cannot help mentioning to you;she was a greyhound, and I never had or saw a better. She grew old inmy service, and was not remarkable for her size, but rather for heruncommon swiftness. I always coursed with her. Had you seen her you musthave admired her, and would not have wondered at my predilection, andat my coursing her so much. She ran so fast, so much, and so long in myservice, that she actually ran off her legs; so that, in the latter partof her life, I was under the necessity of working and using her only asa terrier, in which quality she still served me many years.

  Coursing one day a hare, which appeared to me uncommonly big, I pitiedmy poor bitch, being big with pups, yet she would course as fast asever. I could follow her on horseback only at a great distance. At onceI heard a cry as it were of a pack of hounds--but so weak and faintthat I hardly knew what to make of it. Coming up to them, I was greatlysurprised. The hare had littered in running; the same had happened tomy bitch in coursing, and there were just as many leverets as pups. Byinstinct the former ran, the latter coursed: and thus I found myselfin possession at once of six hares, and as many dogs, at the end of acourse which had only begun with one.

  I remember this, my wonderful bitch, with the same pleasure andtenderness as a superb Lithuanian horse, which no money could havebought. He became mine by an accident, which gave me an opportunityof showing my horsemanship to a great advantage. I was at CountPrzobossky's noble country-seat in Lithuania, and remained with theladies at tea in the drawing-room, while the gentlemen were down inthe yard, to see a young horse of blood which had just arrived from thestud. We suddenly heard a noise of distress; I hastened down-stairs, andfound the horse so unruly, that nobody durst approach or mount him.The most resolute horsemen stood dismayed and aghast; despondency wasexpressed in every countenance, when, in one leap, I was on his back,took him by surprise, and worked him quite into gentleness and obediencewith the best display of horsemanship I was master of. Fully to showthis to the ladies, and save them unnecessary trouble, I forced him toleap in at one of the open windows of the tea-room, walked round severaltimes, pace, trot, and gallop, and at last made him mount the tea-table,there to repeat his lessons in a pretty style of miniature which wasexceedingly pleasing to the ladies, for he performed them amazinglywell, and did not break either cup or saucer. It placed me so high intheir opinion, and so well in that of the noble lord, that, with hisusual politeness, he begged I would accept of this young horse, andride him full career to conquest and honour in the campaign against theTurks, which was soon to be opened, under the command of Count Munich.

  I could not indeed have received a more agreeable present, nor amore ominous one at the opening of that campaign, in which I made myapprenticeship as a soldier. A horse so gentle, so spirited, and sofierce--at once a lamb and a Bucephalus, put me always in mind of thesoldier's and the gentleman's duty! of young Alexander, and of theastonishing things he performed in the field.

  We took the field, among several other reasons, it seems, with anintention to retrieve the character of the Russian arms, which had beenblemished a little by Czar Peter's last campaign on the Pruth; and thiswe fully accomplished by several very fatiguing and glorious campaignsunder the command of that great general I mentioned before.

  Modesty forbids individuals to arrogate to themselves great successesor victories, the glory of which is generally engrossed by thecommander--nay, which is rather awkward, by kings and queens who neversmelt gunpowder but at the field-days and reviews of their troops; neversaw a field of battle, or an enemy in battle array.

  Nor do I claim any particular share of glory in the great engagementswith the enemy. We all did our duty, which, in the patriot's, soldier's,and gentleman's language, is a very comprehensive word, of great honour,meaning, and import, and of which the generality of idle quidnuncsand coffee-house politicians can hardly form any but a very mean andcontemptible idea. However, having had the command of a body of hussars,I went upon several expeditions, with discretionary powers; and thesuccess I then met with is, I think, fairly and only to be placed to myaccount, and to that of the brave fellows whom I led on to conquest andto victory. We had very hot work once in the van of the army, when wedrove the Turks into Oczakow. My spirited Lithuanian had almost broughtme into a scrape: I had an advanced fore-post, and saw the enemy comingagainst me in a cloud of dust, which left me rather uncertain abouttheir actual numbers and real intentions: to wrap myself up in asimilar cloud was common prudence, but would not have much advanced myknowledge, or answered the end for which I had been sent out; thereforeI let my flankers on both wings spread to the right and left and makewhat dust they could, and I myself led on straight upon the enemy, tohave nearer sight of them: in this I was gratified, for they stood andfought, till, for fear of my flankers, they began to move off ratherdisorderly. This was the moment to fall upon them with spirit; we brokethem entirely--made a terrible havoc amongst them, and drove them notonly back to a walled town in their rear, but even through it, contraryto our most sanguine expectation.

  The swiftness of my Lithuanian enabled me to be foremost in the pursuit;and seeing the enemy fairly flying through the opposite gate, I thoughtit would be prudent to stop in the market-place, to order the men torendezvous. I stopped, gentlemen; but judge of my astonishment whenin this market-place I saw not one of my hussars about me! Are theyscouring the other streets? or what is become of them? They could notbe far off, and must, at all events, soon join me. In that expectationI walked my panting Lithuanian to a spring in this market-place, and lethim drink. He drank uncommonly, with an eagerness not to be satisfied,but natural enough; for when I looked round for my men, what should Isee, gentlemen! the hind part of the poor creature--croup and legs weremissing, as if he had been cut in two, and the water ran out as it camein, without refreshing or doing him any good! How it could have happenedwas quite a mystery to me, till I returned with him to the town-gate.There I saw, that when I rushed in pell-mell with the flying enemy, theyhad dropped the portcullis (a heavy falling door, with sharp spikes atthe bottom, let down suddenly to prevent the entrance of an enemy intoa fortified town) unperceived by me, which had totally cut off his hindpart, that still lay quivering on the outside of the gate. It would havebeen an irreparable loss, had not our farrier contrived to bring bothparts together while hot. He sewed them up with sprigs and young shootsof laurels that were at hand; the wound healed, and, what could not havehappened but to so glorious a horse, the sprigs took root in his body,grew up, and formed a bower over me; so that afterwards I could go uponmany other expeditions in the shade of my own and my horse's laurels.